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Shinra E-Rank Genin now need's criticism *fixed*
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This forum is locked: you cannot post, reply to, or edit topics.   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    Naruto RP Center V4 Forum Index -> Approved Profiles/Templates -> Kumogakure Bingo Book
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Posted:     Post subject:

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Masakado
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Appearance: You need a little description there.  You also misspelled his eye color.

Inventory:  What are mini-dolls?  

Personality:  You might want to edit that again.  There is quite a few errors running through it.  He sounds like a perfectionist.
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Roleplaying Characters:
Masakado
Hashimoto Torio
Mica Tsuori
Shûgo Tsutomu *Inactive*
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: D ~ C ~ E
Village: Kumogakure
Fame: 115 ~ 0 ~ 0
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Training Points: 110
Inventory: x20 Senbon, x10 Wire, x3 Smoke Bombs, x2 Kunai; 1 Katana, 1 Wakizashi, 1 Bow [in Scroll], 1 Tanto; [concealed].

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Sandalphon
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
1. will fix

2. his puppets

3. he is supposed to be.  and will fix
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Roleplaying Characters:
Taiki Kaguya
Kyo, Kaze
Shinra
Rian Naminaki
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Rank Ganin (Kumo)/ ,D-rank Genin(Kono)-E-Rank genin(Kumo)-S-Rank chuunin(Kono)
Village: None
Fame: 5-10-0-0
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Training Points: 345
Inventory: on genin 2xWakizashi 30xshuriken 5xkunia 3xblank scroll 50ftwire

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jyuuken01
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
cool character!
and you guys always find the best pictures 0_0
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Roleplaying Characters:
Otamai, Jun
Nikko Coloso
Ikego Yokosuka
Noko-ido, Minari
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Genin/C-genin/B-genin
Village: Kirigakure/Konohagakure/Iwagakure
Fame: 200
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Training Points: 85
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Emmy_Bear
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
A character representing an entire company that uses people for its own gain and thus metaphorically, a puppet master with its own agenda. I like it.


EDIT: Though the whole german fighting style blood frenze thing I am not sure about.
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****Midnight Shadow****


--Made by Yoko

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
   -Robert Heinlein

Sharingan points 991/1000
Roleplaying Characters:
Dante Uchiha
Karen Daikonran
Emily Hyuuga
No 4th RPC
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: S.Genin---D.Genin---C.Genin
Village: Konohagakure--Sunagakure---Konohagakure
Fame: 0---0---0
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
blitzkrieg is just another way of saying he overwhelms his opponents
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Roleplaying Characters:
Taiki Kaguya
Kyo, Kaze
Shinra
Rian Naminaki
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Rank Ganin (Kumo)/ ,D-rank Genin(Kono)-E-Rank genin(Kumo)-S-Rank chuunin(Kono)
Village: None
Fame: 5-10-0-0
Reputation:
Training Points: 345
Inventory: on genin 2xWakizashi 30xshuriken 5xkunia 3xblank scroll 50ftwire

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Emmy_Bear
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Well blitzkrieg was the Germany's war tactic during WWII to hit the allied forces with large numbers of enemies very quickly. Though you may be able to attack someone in a blitzkrieg-like fashion, it is impossible to actually blitzkrieg them being that your NPC is not a Nazi general during WWII while assaulting English-U.S forces. you get what i am saying?
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****Midnight Shadow****


--Made by Yoko

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
   -Robert Heinlein

Sharingan points 991/1000
Roleplaying Characters:
Dante Uchiha
Karen Daikonran
Emily Hyuuga
No 4th RPC
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: S.Genin---D.Genin---C.Genin
Village: Konohagakure--Sunagakure---Konohagakure
Fame: 0---0---0
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
yes i do i also dont care for a history lesson.

using the word blitzkrieg also works out for my character seeing as he will control up to 10 puppets that will ceaselessly attack the opponent until blood  is drawn
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Roleplaying Characters:
Taiki Kaguya
Kyo, Kaze
Shinra
Rian Naminaki
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Rank Ganin (Kumo)/ ,D-rank Genin(Kono)-E-Rank genin(Kumo)-S-Rank chuunin(Kono)
Village: None
Fame: 5-10-0-0
Reputation:
Training Points: 345
Inventory: on genin 2xWakizashi 30xshuriken 5xkunia 3xblank scroll 50ftwire

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OzanaruSyra
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
*Cough* Blitzkreig has several eparate meanings in the English language.
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Vechalia Ozanaru
Mikrah Ozanaru

RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: Jounin, SS ~ Genin, E ~ Genin, E
Village: Kirigakure ~ Kirigakure ~ Kirigakure
Fame: 5000 ~ 0 ~ 0
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Inventory: 2 Tekagi, 3 Daggers, Vorcrist ~ 10 Needles ~ 2 Tonfa, 5 Shuriken, 5 Kunai, 3 Needles

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Blitzkreig=  Lightning War.  Need to put something in "Bloodline" and "Bloodline Jutsus".  Being that you have three Styles, I'm assuming that you don't have a Bloodline, right?  If that's the case, then you need to put either "None" or "N/A" in both of those areas.  Also, though it's not required, it's good to put some Jutsus in "Jutsus Want to Learn" because it'll help you find a Sensei easier.
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Sharingan Points=  2,500; -50/-10
Roleplaying Characters:
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Hyuuga, Setsuka
Itichi, Melfina
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Shinobi Rank: Mizukage [SS-Rank]; Genin [E-Rank]; Genin/Missing-Nin [E-Rank both]
Village: Konoha (originally), Kiri (currently); Konoha; None (formerly Oto)
Fame: 2,000, 0, 0
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Training Points: 650
Inventory: 10 Shuriken, 10 Kunai, 10 Senbon, 2 Fumma Shuriken, 5 Windmill Shuriken (small), 10 strands of Chakra Wire; Kunai (x10), Shuriken (x10), Chakra Wire (5 strands; 20' each); Kodachis (x2; on back), Kunai (x10), Shuriken (x10), Bells (x5; in pouch), Chakra Wire (5 stands; 15' each)

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
ok fixed it


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Roleplaying Characters:
Taiki Kaguya
Kyo, Kaze
Shinra
Rian Naminaki
RPG Stats:
Shinobi Rank: C-Rank Ganin (Kumo)/ ,D-rank Genin(Kono)-E-Rank genin(Kumo)-S-Rank chuunin(Kono)
Village: None
Fame: 5-10-0-0
Reputation:
Training Points: 345
Inventory: on genin 2xWakizashi 30xshuriken 5xkunia 3xblank scroll 50ftwire

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